вот нашла первое письмо о смерти..зацените.
This is probably the most difficult letter that I have ever had to write. As you can gather from my address, my name is ***, Ian's brother. I have to give you the sad news about Ian's death last night due to cancer.
Over the past ten months, Ian was unwell and taking medication for a condition called Hepatocellular Carcinoma. The most common name for this is Primary Liver Cancer. He insisted that no one in the family knew about this except me, and I had to honour his wish, as I knew that he thought with his positive attitude it was possible to beat the disease. The medication seemed to be working well at first, keeping the disease stable and then seemingly beginning to beat it, but when he was helping me to construct my conservatory at the end of August; I became aware that his health was gradually deteriorating. I took him straight to my local doctor, who sent us straight to hospital, this culminating in Ian being given a complete scan. It was only now that he was made aware of the disastrous news that the cancer had spread to other organs in his body, this causing great pain and distress. He was also told that the spread of the disease was so virulent that medication could only subdue the pain and not cure it. This meant that he was forced to **модерация** the fact that he had few days, weeks or months left and that in that time he had to do as much as he could so as to have a dignified passing.
In April this year, Ian told me that he was feeling great, his health was improving due to the success of the drugs and that he was thinking of looking on the internet for a partner. I discussed this with him at great length, finding out the reasons why he preferred to look to the east. His reason for this was for a more loving and stable woman.
This thought seemed to disappear for a while, but in late June when Ian appeared at my house, there was a sparkle in his eye. "I've found her!" were his exact words. "I've found her; I'm going to get her because I know I've fallen in love!" Ian then showed me your profile on his Meetic site, followed by telling me about your emails asking about his marriage. Ian was genuinely happy, the happiest that I had seen him for many years, and his infectious optimism lead him to persuading you to actually meet him in Helsinki. I have never seen anyone as excited as Ian on the day he left to meet you. As I left him at the coach station, I wondered if I would ever see him again, such was his impetuosity, I thought that he might not return! He phoned me twice while he was with you in Helsinki and his happiness was apparent; I think he was sure that he had found the woman of his dreams. Everything he said about the trip was positive, for the first time in many years, Ian was happy; in fact, I can honestly say that I had never heard him so happy!He had told me, briefly, about your "chats" on the internet, and that you had "more personal" talks at times...this wasn't evident at the time, but after using his computer today, to find the names of the people who need to be informed about Ian's death, I found a file that he had saved as "Love Letters". In this file, he kept all of your conversations. I have had the privilege of discreetly reading some of your conversations I can clearly see that Ian was absolutely besotted with you...he knew that he had found the right woman. Although totally committed to you, Ian was also a dedicated teacher who loved his pupils. To this end, he made sure that when he was given the opportunity to go to camp with some of the children last week, he just jumped at the chance. He loved the children, he loved his job.
It was on Sunday when Ian telephoned me after a "lovely" chat with you, swapping photographs I think, to say that he felt in so much pain that he realised that there might not be too long left. He commented that when he last spoke to you, he was in so much pain that nothing he said to you probably made any sense.
I didn't realise at the time that he was in the process of arranging to meet you again in October, and was extremely surprised to find that he had already booked the flights and the train to Tampere. I also found a copy of a completed application form for a Visitor's Visa to Russia; it seemed as though Ian knew that the only way he was going to see you again was to actually fly to Saint Petersburg. He didn’t know how long he had left, but he was determined to say goodbye to you. The Visa actually came through yesterday, just three days late. I’m sure if it had arrived on Saturday, Ian would have been on the plane to you, the woman who he truly loved.
I had the privilege of being with Ian in hospital last night when he sent a simple text message to all of his friends. A simple "Goodbye & Thank you. I love you all and I will see you in Heaven" had never been as powerful to me before, but from Ian, it said everything. He kissed your photograph, which he insisted on taking into the hospital with him on Sunday; Ian never let go of the photograph, he truly did love you Mila! He passed away peacefully at 11:17pm, your photograph still in his hands.
I am sorry to have to have given you this sad news, but find that contacting each of his friends individually is helping me make sense of his death.
If you do want to contact me at all, my address is evident, and if you do want me to forward those "Love Letters", just let me know. They just might mean something to you.
Although it is difficult for me, I have to think about all of Ian's friends at this time, especially you, Mila. You made his last few months so happy. Thank you.
Just remember his final message; “Goodbye & Thank you. I love you all and I will see you in Heaven”. I am sure that he will be there waiting for you as his love for you was so strong.
He will never be forgotten.